Moments before I started writing this, I finished another set of runs on FIREcalc, a web app that runs a series of simulations to estimate the likelihood that a particular amount of savings and spending will last for a set number of years in retirement. It’s one of about a billion different retirement calculators that can be found all over the internet. I’ve experimented with many of these, plugging in different saving and earning rates, watching graphs of theoretical funds blast off to the stratosphere or crash and burn like a plane that’s run out of fuel.

I admit it: it’s become a bit of an obsession.

I’m a 34-year-old software engineer, and over the past several years, I’ve increasingly been driven by a goal that I slowly get closer to with each passing day. Becoming Financially Independent.

My journey to this goal comes from a young age. My mom always had a very flummoxed relationship with money: “How can we afford this bill?” “What if the car breaks down?” “Everything is so damn expensive!”

It left a deep impression on me, even when I was a teenager: “I don’t care if I’m rich when I’m older, but I must have a different kind of relationship with money. I don’t want to worry about it. I don’t want to be a slave to it. I need enough money along with a solid framework in order to be truly free.”

In high school, my mom used to suggest that I get a credit card to build credit. I was always vehemently against the idea. “I don’t want a credit card. I don’t want the ability to spend money that isn’t mine!” To high school Me, credit cards were synonymous with debt.

Fast forward to college graduation and I found myself with some of that debt that I was so focused on not having… mercifully, I had only a few hundred dollars of credit card debt and a modest $20K of student loans. Then I purchased a new 2009 Hyundai Sonata, my first truly new car ever and a huge upgrade from the Plymouth Acclaim that had gotten me through my college years. By the end of 2008, I found myself in the worst net worth position of my entire life: between my car and student loans, I was over $40K in the red.

From this point forward, I started to make it a mission to eliminate my debts and learn as much as possible about investing and budgeting. I read books and blogs. I listened to podcasts. I talked with my family and friends.

Twelve years later, I find myself almost half way to my ultimate goal… one that I didn’t even completely understand when I was a child listening to my mom’s financial worries: to no longer need additional money. To self sustain. Because once I get to that point, I can make life decisions based not on a compensation schedule, but based on how meaningful they are to me and the people I care about.

This blog is meant to explore where I’ve been thus far on my financial journey, what I’ve learned, and to continue to document my future steps until I hit FI. My goal is also to be as transparent and open as possible… instead of just describing concepts, I want to actually identify how I’m using those concepts.

So with that, let’s get started! Buckle up!